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dkmoore

Constructive criticism welcome!

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I especially like the tones - creamy soft.  The contrast and range are excellent.  The pose and composition are lovely. The background works only because of the bokeh.  Is that the Rittenhouse behind her?

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29 minutes ago, stuny said:

I especially like the tones - creamy soft.  The contrast and range are excellent.  The pose and composition are lovely. The background works only because of the bokeh.  Is that the Rittenhouse behind her?

Thanks Stuny and you nailed the location. 

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The B&W is stunning, love the tonality and your editing. The pose of the model is helping the vertical composition. Great! I wouldn't change nothing, except for the lack of her right hand. I would have liked to see it, to give to the photograph even more dynamic body language. But it's just a tiny details.

Congrats

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14 hours ago, stuny said:

I especially like the tones - creamy soft.  The contrast and range are excellent.  

+1

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Very nice. As mentioned by others, the tonality is very good. The pose is much fun. IMHO, the background.is a little too busy, despite the bokeh. This is, of course, a matter of taste, but I think the focus would be more on the subject if the background was more “neutral”.

But it is very enjoyable as it is, anyway. :)

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18 hours ago, Dennis said:

The B&W is stunning, love the tonality and your editing. The pose of the model is helping the vertical composition. Great! I wouldn't change nothing, except for the lack of her right hand. I would have liked to see it, to give to the photograph even more dynamic body language. But it's just a tiny details.

Congrats

One with more (sort of) hands for you. 😎

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5 hours ago, Louis said:

Very nice. As mentioned by others, the tonality is very good. The pose is much fun. IMHO, the background.is a little too busy, despite the bokeh. This is, of course, a matter of taste, but I think the focus would be more on the subject if the background was more “neutral”.

But it is very enjoyable as it is, anyway. :)

The building is a little busy for sure. I probably needed a Noctilux to smooth it out a little more. Here is a less distracting building. 

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9 minutes ago, dkmoore said:

One with more (sort of) hands for you. 😎

🤣 ... Yes, one more hand, but I do prefer the first one 10 times. She has a better light on her face. Also you framed her in the left side of the the building, which was great. In the second photo  is in the middle, and the building line angles line is dropping a little bit aggressive in the middle of her head.

Much better the first one! IMHO

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18 minutes ago, Dennis said:

🤣 ... Yes, one more hand, but I do prefer the first one 10 times. She has a better light on her face. Also you framed her in the left side of the the building, which was great. In the second photo  is in the middle, and the building line angles line is dropping a little bit aggressive in the middle of her head.

Much better the first one! IMHO

I agree! 

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Okay, dkmoore, you asked for constructive criticism: 😊

Pros:

  • Lovely smooth monochrome tones on the model's face
  • Attractive model
  • Blouse/shirt pattern works well with the environment
  • Crop-top works well with the model's physique

Cons:

  • The tilt on the building is distracting
  • The buildings themselves are distracting owing to their architectural strength, perhaps more blur?
  • The model's pose is stiff and wooden; it looks like she's not comfortable, which stirs unease in the viewer
  • The model's eyes are closed; from the second picture she has lovely eyes so I'd like to see them.
  • The pose is unusual and it's not clear what it's trying to convey; is it half-way through a stretch?

My apologies if the above sounds harsh - it's not intended to be but you did ask for constructive criticism.  These are only my subjective opinions and you have every right not to agree with them.

Ultimately there are many more positives in the picture than negatives and the monochrome rendering and the resulting mood is excellent.

Pete.

 

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Hi Pete,

No apologies needed! I think your comments make sense. I was going for a good old juxtaposition with the rigid building behind the not so rigid model.  I do think a little more blur would have worked better. 

The pose could certainly use some work for sure and I'm working on understanding posing in general so I feel that is very justified. I've been reading a lot of photo books to familiarize myself with posing and especially, directing posing. 

Thank you for taking the time to look and comment. It is much appreciated.

Dustin  

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33 minutes ago, farnz said:

 

My apologies if the above sounds harsh - it's not intended to be but you did ask for constructive criticism.  These are only my subjective opinions and you have every right not to agree with them.

 

 

Hi Pete,

No apologies needed! I think your comments make sense. I was going for a good old juxtaposition with the rigid building behind the not so rigid model.  I do think a little more blur would have worked better. 

The pose could certainly use some work for sure and I'm working on understanding posing in general so I feel that is very justified. I've been reading a lot of photo books to familiarize myself with posing and especially, directing posing. 

Thank you for taking the time to look and comment. It is much appreciated.

Dustin  

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The first is still the best IMO. In the other two I miss the smooth tonal scale in the skin and the composition/moment just don’t have it, too posed by the model and too constructed by the photographer. 

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Posted (edited)

I like the first shot a lot. I think the pose is effective and the closed eyes add a little mystery. I agree with Pete about straightening the building in the background. That would make the image stronger.

The second shot doesn't do much for me, mainly because the pose looks too forced. The building in the background, however, looks much better than in the first shot. Or

The third shot shows a good pose but I don't think the background does anything to help the image. There's so much going on with flags, people, high columns and the tilt that it takes attention away from your model.

The tones in all three are superb and very complimentary for this type of work.

In the first image, I tried holding a sheet of paper over the top portion on the image so as to crop just above her elbows. It looked better to my eye.

 

Edited by fotografr

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